Ramblings: Thank You, Thank You, No Thank You
I’m currently in the middle of writing all of the Thank You cards (it’s a long process, there are so many of them, and I’m not the most organized of people), and have been thinking back on how many wonderful people I have in my life. People who have really been there throughout my whole pregnancy and beyond. Most have been people who were there beforehand, others I became closer to during my pregnancy, and then there are a few people with whom I was close with before but who seem to have sadly disappeared. And then there are those who just popped up out of the blue!
There are so many people I want to thank, people who have shown they have cared in so many different ways. Calls and text messages and dinners and lunches and cards and gifts and visits and hugs and well wishes. I can’t even begin to explain how much this means to all of us! Being a new mum, living a little bit further out of the city than we used to can be a little isolating, but so many people have made it so much easier for me. Everything was so daunting in the beginning (and it still is to be honest – every day is a new adventure), and all the love just makes everything a little easier and me a little bit stronger in dealing with everything. I tell Luna every day how much she is loved, and it makes me so happy to be able to bring her up surrounded by so much love and so many wonderful people. So much love not just from here in NYC, but from all over the country and the world. And with the wonders of the internet in this day and age, when we move to California we will still be able to keep in touch daily with everyone here. I want Luna to know the city she was born in, as well as the city her grandmother lives in, the county I was born in in England, the city I grew up in in France, the town her father was born and raised in, and all of the other places that she would like to visit in this world. I want her to know all of amazing people who are in our lives, all of our wonderful friends, as they all have something important that they will bring to her life to enrich it, just by being themselves. In any case, I want to thank all of you people from the bottom of my heart. It feels incredible to feel so loved, and I hope that one day I can bring the same feeling into your lives somehow.
A very, very special shout out goes to one wonderful young lady who I met years and years ago while she was DJing one Sunday night at The Skinny on Orchard St. We became fast friends over the months that succeeded that chance encounter and have been through many a story and an adventure together. She was always my choice for godmother from the moment I found out I was pregnant and she has been with me every step of the way. The most supportive friend I have ever had. Even today her daily messages still ask me how I am doing, making sure I am taking care of myself, eating the right things, getting enough sleep, feeling happy etc. I feel that we are so blessed having this amazing person in our lives, and she will be the best godmother that we could have chosen for Luna. I will always be happy that I decided to go out drinking against my better judgment that Sunday night years ago!
And now for the least important part, but something that I just need to get off my chest. I know that pregnancy and childbirth can change friendships, and I also know that it’s not always easy to hang out with the mother of a newborn (our attention is often elsewhere and we are usually running on an hour or 2 of sleep every single day). And therefore I would not expect even good friends to have to always make an effort in those first months… However, there are those one or two people you considered extremely close, as in best friend status, who just end up showing how they don’t really care that much anymore. You know that these people may appear out of the blue again when “my best friend had a baby” tops a Buzzfeed list, or someone posts a snarky article on Vice about how their best friend disappeared from sight once their baby took over their life, but at that point it’s not going to matter anymore. The damage was done the moment they couldn’t make contacting me a priority. It’s obvious that not everyone in your life is going to come visit you just after you give birth, and for that you should be more than thankful. No one wants to have to entertain visitors when they have slept about an hour over three nights, haven’t showered in maybe 2 days, and know that the apartment looks like hell but would rather sleep for 10 minutes than do the dishes. However, there are a few people who you expect to. People who you think you know inside out and vice versa. I guess this is when you realize that certain friendships have come to a natural end. It stings a little, but such is life. And they are the ones losing out in the end – I have only gained in my life! I‘m very lucky that this actually only really happened with one friend, but sad that it happened at the same time. I mean, how can you not want to come and visit those squishy little baby cheeks at least once?
In any case, to all of those of you who do care, and there are so many of you, thank you thank you thank you, you are all wonderful and it’s a blessing to be part of all of your lives. And even if we do have the next one in California, NYC will be as much a part of his or her life as it has been for Cesar, Luna and myself.