Someone who I consider a close friend hurt my feelings on Monday evening (just before the show), and I’m terrible at just saying out loud “that was really unkind of you and my feelings are hurt”. Instead, while I was watching the show I found I really wanted to drink. Specifically, I wanted to drink a Stoli on the rocks, my old favourite and a drink I haven’t touched in well over 3 years. I wanted to down one and then another. I could literally even taste it… That is, until I said it out loud, that I wanted a drink, and because I have the best friends in the world I just got a “No” in reply. Then that feeling was gone, and I went back to total music immersion, and forgot about it. It wasn’t until later that I realized that the only reason I actually really wanted to get drunk was because I wanted to piss off the person who had hurts my feelings earlier. Um… Trying to get back at someone by ultimately hurting oneself? Very mature approach to life! So stupid. I really think I need a holiday from everything right now. I’ve been dreaming of a week on a remote island where all I have is a notebook to write in, my iPod so I can listen to music and lots of sand, waves and sunshine. All of this with no people around me. Just a week away.
One of my pet peeves is someone telling me I’m doing something wrong (when I am actually not), in front of other people, with the ultimate aim to make me look like an idiot. It makes me feel like a child, and then I end up actually wanting to act like a child, you know, kick a few things over and scream, maybe punch someone. Thinking about it, I don’t think I ever acted like that when I was a child, so I guess I missed out on the tantrum phase and feel the need to have them at the age of 34. That said, I don’t actually do anything, just grit my death and mutter insults under my breath while carrying on with what I am doing. This happened last night and seeing as I am still annoyed (and embarrassed) by it I’m writing about it so I can forget about it (I think that may only make sense to me).
You know what else would be a really cool getaway? A road trip across the US. Chuck a few things in the back of the car and take off and see all these different places I have never been to before. I would love to go through Mississippi and Tennessee, all through the South, go to the Grand Canyon, drive through the desert… Pity I can’t actually drive. Maybe one day I will actually learn, or they will invent a car that you can just drive with your eyes or voice. The latter would probably be the best option. Learn how to drive so you can an escape holiday across unknown to you countryside. I was actually walking to dog this morning and realised that I really wish I could take him to Rutland so he could run around in the fields and go on a long walk through the country paths. It gets quite boring just walking along the streets of Bushwick sometimes.
Have to go to work again… I have a load of stories I have to write this weekend, all based on things I have seen over the past few weeks. I think the funniest one is going to be based on a bar we walked into before the show on Monday. I felt like we had walked into a different dimension. I need more time to write, I don’t want to lose all these ideas!
I had always liked Spiritualized a lot, but it wasn’t until I saw them live for the first time that I actually fell completely and utterly in love with the music, the lyrics and just the entire performance. Since that time I have seen them live quite a few times, cumulating in the epic performance of Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space at Radio City Music Hall a few years ago (yes, epic epic epic). They are one band I really cannot miss when they come into town, and I won’t be missing them this year either, thanks to my lovely friend Meg who bought me a ticket for my birthday. They are playing Terminal 5 on May 7th (see the official site for more US and world dates) and I intend to get there as early as possible in order to actually get a good spot.
Anyway, I’ve been listening to Sweet Heart Sweet Light over and over again this week and I can’t get enough of it. I don’t know how Jason Pierce actually does it, but he produces amazing lyrics that are actually quite simple at a first glance but astonishingly profound, moving and powerful, and then moulds them together with music to create soaring anthemic songs. I’m not going to stop myself from gushing about this album because it has really made me so happy this week. I think I can just always count on Spiritualized to produce songs that say exactly what I feel inside. I know I’m prone to hyperbole, but I’m really not exaggerating here. Listen and see for yourself.
On the whole I found Sweet Heart Sweet Light to be uplifting. While Songs in A&E had a more fragile feel to it (if you know Jason Pierce’s history it’s easy to understand why), this new album feels stronger and in general happier (if that is really possible, I’m kind of struggling to find the right words here). There is the real rock song Hey Jane, the stripped bare song Freedom, the distorted drug song Heading For The Top and the anthemic Too Late. My absolute favourite is Little Girl, just because the lyrics speak to me so much “Sometimes I wish that I was dead cos only living can feel the pain, sometimes I wish I could fly, you get so grounded and life will pass you by”. The Jesus/God metaphors in Life is a Problem are really smart. I always feel like Jason Pierce’s mentions of God/Jesus/religion are more of a comfort than an actual belief, more like the idea that there is something bigger than oneself out there in the world, rather than an actual belief in God. I could, of course, be wrong, but that’s what it feels like. Like I can’t save myself, but this bigger entity can help me. Make sense? Probably not.
Sweet Heart, Sweet Light is such a beautiful album. I’m just going to listen to it on a loop again all day until I have to go back to work. If you get a chance to see them live, don’t miss it as there really isn’t anything like it!
Oh, and I am now over 1/3 of the way through my novel. And I submitted two short stories to a competition, not that I think they are any good, but you never know, and practice never hurt anyone. I feel I need to focus more, somehow, but my head is all over the place (and I am working ever day for the next 9 days, so that just gives me another excuse to procrastinate).
Talking about work, I'll be working at Darkroom with Eric on Monday night, so come and visit, because you know you want to. 167 Ludlow.
Pulp - Underwear
The Levellers - The Boatman
T.Rex - Children of the Revolution
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - From Her To Eternity
Iggy Pop - Nightclubbing
David Bowie - Life on Mars
Stevie Nicks - Bella Donna
Spiritualized - Medication
AMAZING. Besides the fact that they are one of my favourite bands, and that I know just how good they are live, this show was extra special because they played the entire Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space album with an orchestra and choir. And this album contains one of my favourite songs of all time... Broken Heart. Literally mind-blowing.
I recorded Broken Heart on my phone, and would post it here if I wasn't too impatient how to figure out how to do it. Maybe later as I am too preoccupied with floating in space right now.