Now he's gone love burns inside me

Sitting in an airport lounge at LAX. I'm tired but I feel much better than I have for a while. Still not anywhere near 100%, but my mind is a lot clearer than it was yesterday.

I'm tired of people telling me I drink too much. I KNOW I do. So just kep your thoughts to yourself. I've looked after myself pretty well for the past 29 years, I'm not gonna give up and fall into the oblivion of complete alcoholic dependency. Not just yet anyway.

So LA.
I got here at 10pm last night, waited an hour for Martha to fly in, got the rental car and directions to the Beverly Hills Hilton. Receptionist told me "take the 405 South the Wilshire Blvd East". After 30 mins of driving and seeing many "San Diego" sounds Martha realised we were going the wrong way. By the time I called the hotel back and someone intelligent gave me the right directions it was after 1am. We finally made it to the hotel (via 405 NORTH), went for valet parking and locked the keys in the car door. Yep. We had to wait another hour for someone to come help us open the car so this left me ample time to people watch.
- Group of Russian mafiosos stepping out of a limo with a high-class Russian call-girl (she came with them in the limo but the main mafioso sent her off in a cab about an hour later).
- Some trio of rich-kid idiots driving a black Escalade. Fat tattooed Hawaiian shirt idiot tried to talk to me but I felt justified in smirking and turning my head.
- Group of VERY rich Italian car racer people. I wish I could afford Christian Louboutin black stiletto peeptoes.

The meeting this morning went well. It's so nice to work with a bunch of people who appreciate you. It made me realise that part of the reason I feel so down all the time is because I feel that however much I do my main client contact always has something more, some shitty comment to make or just doesn't acknowledge. So working with this new team may help me like my job again. I'm giving myself until December to see if I feel happier there. In the meantime I am still going to pursue my other life, but I need to make sure it's productive, and not counter-productive as it has been these past few months. Even if it just means making many random blog posts and playlists.

I'm now sitting in the United lounge thanks to Martha. I've had 3 free coffees, am listening to Nick Cave and am craving a cigarette or 6 right now. I forgot my flip flops and there is no way I am putting my heels on right now, so it's my usual business trip attire of walking barefoot around airports. Yeah well nothing can be worse than the streets of the LES.

One last note: I love my friends.