Running, running, running

Running really does make me happy... Who would have thought?!
I got home from work, threw on my running clothes and shoes (and knee brace-thing as I have a wobbly right knee at the moment) and ran a couple of miles around my neighbourhood, down Evergreen, over Flushing, around the lofts, up Johnson, down Bushwick and the Varet and back up past Flushing. That hill from Flushing up to Jefferson on Everygreen is a bit of a killer when you take it at the end, but it's a good extra work out.

I think this all started as a way to work out, but now it's also a way to let off steam, be by myself with some music, time to let my mind wander and think about what may be and what may happen...

For some reason I always listen to the Stones while running - they motivate me. And the Stones channel on Pandora is just perfect.

I'm already dreading the days where the snow is going to stop me from running.

It's been 2 weeks...

So I feel like I can talk about it here now. I stopped smoking two weeks ago tomorrow.

17 years of smoking a pack a day.
Two "quitting" episodes that didn't last very long
17 years of really ENJOYING smoking
17 years of using cigarettes as my way to get away from everything for 5 minutes

The first time I quit was in Israel in 2005. F., the guy I was dating and completely in love with at the time kept complaining about me smelling like smoke all the time. So I stopped smoking for him (bad idea). He moved from the kibbutz down to my aunt's moshav, and in the two weeks between him leaving and me joining him there I started again. I missed it (and him) too much. When we were reunited on the moshav he had started smoking anyway.
Morale of the story: don't stop smoking for someone, especially not for a man who is going to end up breaking your heart anyway.

The second time I quit was in London in the beginning of 2005. I was REALLY irritable at work, but made it through to the two week mark and went out drinking. And smoked about 5 cigarettes. Then jumped back on the wagon until I went out drinking again etc etc. Then I was offered the job in New York and used it as an excuse to start smoking properly again.
Morale of the story: don't stop smoking without a real plan, or without any real will to do it.

This time it's different. Meg had already decided to stop on her birthday in August. I said a few months ago that I was going to stop in September, and seeing as I said it out loud there was no going back. September 1st rolled round and I had already set myself in the mindset that I wouldn't be smoking ever again.

And it worked.

It's been a lot easier than I expected. Granted the first few days I was extremely aware of the moments I would smoke, and how much of a habit it was. After 24 hours I wanted to kill everyone in my sight, and by the 48 hour mark I was feeling fine. Meg gave me a nicotine inhaler that I have used a few times when I have been out in a bar, and it helps take the edge off of the cravings. Now it's come to a point when I don't think about cigarettes as much anymore, and, although I miss them a lot at certain moments in time, I feel OK ABOUT IT!!!

I do have an insane amount of manic energy though - and I keep need to move around all the time. I love the fact that my hair smells like my coconut conditioner all day long AND then next day and that my clothes still smell of my fabric softener when I take them off at night. I also love the fact that I am going to save approximately $3,640 a year.