Music Break - Because I feel like it

I haven't written anything for three days and I have been sitting in front of the thinking about something I may want to write about, but I just don't feel inspired. So, this is just going to be a music post. Actually, a music break, rather than a post, because I am not really going to write anything, just post videos of songs that I love immensely.

Oh, and I am now over 1/3 of the way through my novel. And I submitted two short stories to a competition, not that I think they are any good, but you never know, and practice never hurt anyone. I feel I need to focus more, somehow, but my head is all over the place (and I am working ever day for the next 9 days, so that just gives me another excuse to procrastinate).

Talking about work, I'll be working at Darkroom with Eric on Monday night, so come and visit, because you know you want to. 167 Ludlow.

So... Enjoy...

Pulp - Underwear

The Levellers - The Boatman

T.Rex - Children of the Revolution

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - From Her To Eternity

Iggy Pop - Nightclubbing

David Bowie - Life on Mars

Stevie Nicks - Bella Donna

Spiritualized - Medication

The effects of Tiny Dancer upon mankind

Or, at least, on me...

I was busy putting my playlist together for tonight's Rock n Roll trivia session that I'm guest hosting with Jono at 200 Orchard, and I automatically added Elton John's Tiny Dancer to the list, not even thinking if it has any relevance to the trivia questions at all (it does, in a round-about kind of way). And I realised that this is just one of those songs that provides immediate comfort and a feeling of happiness. I know it's not only me, it works in the same way on many people.

For example, a few years ago, Rosie and I were sitting at a table at Darkroom. The place wasn't too busy for an early Friday night, but not empty either. We twisted Aurelio's arm and got him to play Tiny Dancer, and the whole bar started singing along. I still get goosebumps thinking about it today. Once the song ended everyone went back to what they were doing, but for a few minutes there was a real feeling of unison between a group of strangers.

Another time I remember leaving work in the summer, after a highly stressful day, and decided to walk down Park Avenue. I put my ipod on, and Tiny Dancer started up, and I just started to smile. To this day I will always put the song on when I feel like I am going to have a panic attack or if my stress level is getting too high.

When Cameron Crowe used Tiny Dancer in the tour bus scene, making it into the song that brings everyone back together, he knew exactly what effect it was going to have on the viewers.

Sit back and enjoy:

Trivia is from 8-10 pm tonight at 200 Orchard.

Interpol - Music Hall of Williamsburg 09/10/2010

Previously I was pretty sad and disappointed by how the new album sounded, seeing as Interpol have been such a big part of my life for so long...

Well they did an impromptu show at the Music Hall of Williamsburg (my second favourite venue) in NYC last night and I got to see them. And they were AMAZING. Nothing has changed (except for Carlos' presence, more on that in a bit). I had forgotten exactly how much I loved them, and how big a part of my life the music had been for a long time.

It brought back so many memories...
Lynn and me, seeing the very last two shows from the Antics tour here in NYC in 2005
Listening to NYC while getting on my first subway ride in NYC and realising that I was REALLY here
Darkroom and Darkroom basement and 2005 and 2006
Listening to Rest My Chemistry and realising I needed to do the same
Wednesday nights

Anyway - there are lots more, but I won't bore everyone with a nostalgia trip - I'll just enjoy it myself.

The new songs sound good live - so I am going to give the album another try with a different ear. It was a little strange at first not to see Carlos on stage, and the new bassist Dave Pajo seems to fit in fine.

Leonard Cohen was amazing - I am still in awe of him and his performance on Saturday night. I really can't describe the feeling of seeing someone you have pretty much admired and adored all of you life, performing in front of you. So I am not even going to try. I will keep the jumble of superlatives stuck in my head and leave it up to you to imagine.
Leonard Cohen. On stage. Yes.

Last night I freaked myself out trying to freak someone else out. I dreamt of ghosts coming out of basements and following me around. Next time I will think twice before making up ghost stories! It was quite funny though, I must admit. The Darkroom ghost will continue to haunt the basement, jam the door, walk up and down the stairs, knock on the walls and scare the bartenders.


End of winter?

I feel the end of winter is approaching, finally. This winter has been so long and brutal. I am tired of wearing my big coat, however gorgeous it is, tired of the icy wind and tired of feeling so tired!

But I am happy. However much work is kicking my butt (no change there), I am still much more focused and have found my goals again. Giving up alcohol was one of the best things I could have done this year! It has been 2 months now, and I don't regret and/or miss it. I can sit in a bar for a bit and feel fine with just a water. Last night was really nice. Meg picked me up from work and we drove down to the LES, got hot chocolates and sat at Darkroom in a booth with Eric and Jeff for a bit. Then we played Pacman at Motor and went home just after 11pm. I have tomorrow off work, so I am planning on sleeping in, baking cookies for Noemie's babyshower on Saturday, cleaning the apartment and getting a manicure. I'm really looking forward to the long weekend!

Saturday night is going to be AWESOME! Two of my favourite New York bands are playing at the Mercury Lounge (Cruel Black Dove & Blacklist). I plan to take a lot of pictures for my other (new) blog. It exists only in my head for now, but will be online next week at the latest. It will be a mix of all things NY, cheap and easy and weird and wonderful things to do here. Music, parties, restaurants, art galleries, books, walks, shops... Whatever I like you will get to hear about :)

This is where I will be on Saturday:

Happy happy house

Sometimes I really wonder what people's intentions are around here. Funny things happen at funny times and make me reassess my judgement about certain people. Sometimes I am so disappointed, but sometimes so surprised. Everything balances itself out in the end.

Beth's birthday was on Wednesday and what started off as last minute celebrations turned into an awesome party. I finally met all Beth's friends and am totally in love with them - what a great, down-to-earth and fun crowd they are. So nice to meet so many cool people.

Work has been insane, but at least I eliminated the housing issue I have been having for the past few months. Back rent is nearly all paid off and I am going to renew my lease for another year. Beth and I have been looking into moving to Brooklyn together. The idea is to save money and have a bigger living space... I just like the idea of moving "away" for a while.

Looking forward to a relaxing weekend with no drama. I am going to meet up with one of Marc's friends for coffee after work as I shall be DJing her conference after-party (exciting!) and then will go to feed Meg's cat Schmoose. Then maybe go see Eric before Darkroom becomes Friday night packed and then probably home. I have Luna to cuddle and a lot of movies to watch!


I'm with the band

Every week I tell myself that I am going to have a week off. I don't mean a week off work, I mean a week off the rest of my life. Every Sunday I go out and get in at 3am at the latest (and that's usually when I start drinking at 8pm - don't even ask what happens if I start drinking later). That sets the tome for the rest of the week. It's as if I can't help myself, no willpower to stop. I need that Stoli on the rocks to get through the work week.
A few weeks ago I felt like I was walking through a haze, trying to dodge stones of my life falling all around me, but getting hit every time because my movements were too slow. I am finally stumbling out of it, hurt, bruised, older and just a little more cynical. But I still can't face myself right now. Oblivion still attracts me. Not being able to remember helps me through the abnormality of my reality. I should get away for a while, try to be something else, but my honesty just won't let me.

I went to see Jess' play last night "Angry Young Women in Low Rise Jeans with High Class Issues" It was excellent, funny, wittyand Jess was awesome. I'm still amazed that she has the guts to stand on stage every night in just a bra and thong and STILL act. I love that girl.

CMJ week is killing me. I haven't actually seen that many bands, but I caught Hannah's band Silver Rockets and my personal favourite New York band of the moment, A Place to Bury Strangers on Thursday. I think I will go to see them again tonight at The Delancey with Bruce's Girl. Then I know without even planning it that I will end up at Motorcity. I vaguly remembering being there last night and then going back to Darkroom (from where I am supposedly barred although not really). Drama drama. I'd much rather just be at Motorcity where the people who matter are real, honest and friendly. I've never experienced first hand drama there.
I also had to DJ on Wednesday night at The Skinny. Twas a lot of fun. As usual I ended up playing eveything and anything, especially as the night wore on... Everyone has a secret goth in them. People were dancing to The Sisters and The Cult without even realising it. Scott and me are doing Halloween night there too and I shall be going as an angel. All in white with a blonde wig. Paradox.

When the lights go out my brain turns on

My emotions are way out of tune at the moment. I know there's something wrong but I cannot bring myself to get what I need for them. I've done so well without pills, and they make me feel so out of it and and zombie-esque that I don't want to. I'm afraid to lose all feeling. BFF amle L the L took me out for dinner last night and told me that I was either super sad or super happy at the moment. And he's right - there is no middle ground - either I'm dancing around a pole at Darkroom or literally dragging myself out of bed in the morning after 12 hours sleep not knowing how the hell I am going to make it to work without throwing myself under the subway.

So how do we make Happiness Paradox come back? Because even the Stoli-induced Happiness is not working so well anymore. It now just makes me fall off barstools or dance around poles while blacked out. And that really isn't sexy. It's just hilarious. (Lets not talk about how sad that is - at least I hang out in a neighbourhood where this happens to everyone else on a weekly basis too.)
I came to the conlusion that I needed to change my job a while ago. I'm very happy with everything in my life except for my job. Which I now hate. I can't even pretend that it will get better anymore. And my bosses can tell me over and over again that I'm a natural at what I do and excellent at my job - it doesn't change anything. I'm just not passionate about this industry. I love writing and I love music. I don't love localization. It's a job. It got me a visa to live and work in New York. But afeter 2.5 years it's driving me insane. I haven't written an interesting word for a year because I have absolutely no inspiration. And I HATE that.

I have an idea for a new novel forming in my brain. I now need to sit down and get it out. I will use my red eye flight back from LA on Thursday night to start putting ideas down. Baby steps. LA is going to be a blast (not): I fly in tomorrow night at 10:30pm, have a meeting from 9-11am and then I get the red-eye back in the evening. I haven't even prepared anything yet. It just doesn't interest me anymore...

I also need to write my experiences from last week down. Control and BRMC. And all of the rest. Stomping up and down Ludlow. I miss doing that with Paradox Twin. Especially because I've decided to finally walk my new boots in (the others are going to lose their sole soon. I cannot get rid of them yet though - I love them too much).

Why do I feel so tired? And why do I feel so sad all of the time. I need a Stoli on the rocks. I wish I could say no but it's the only thing that perks me up right now. Well there is another thing, but it makes me too sad to talk about it at this moment in time. Maybe later this week. Maybe never. Those who know know anyway.


I was sitting at the bar last night and some random guy asked me if I was from London. Five times. Because you know that everybody who has a British accent comes from London. Then he proceeded to ask me if I knew Kate Moss to which I responded in my most sarcastic tone “Of course, she’s my best friend”. Next thing I know he’s whipped his crackberry out and shows me a text message that he’s just received from Kate Moss.

Riiiiight. I think his delusion went a little bit deeper than the amount of alcohol that he had been drinking.

Then again, I ended up not remembering how I got from Darkroom to Motorcity (the fifth time of the night). Actually, lets go back even further – I don’t remember how I got from Lit to Darkroom.
It was a good night. I think?

Nobody told you, that I could just waltz through and shake up your style

I kind of outdid myself this week. 3 hours of sleep between Sunday night and Monday night, about 8 hours on Tuesday night, no sleep on Wednesday night and then passed out at 9pm last night. I feel rested today hahaha! So what's going on tonight? ParadoxSister is in town for the weekend so I am assuming a night of barhopping and drinking and dancing. Maybe it's time to do something different? HA!

(Picture Paradox rolling around in hysterics at the idea of not going out drinking, dancing and hanging out with friends)

June's boy is also celebrating his birthday tonight so hopefully we shall be able to help him get immensely trashed so he forgets he's now 30. As long as we all continue to look less than 26 then we're all fine anyway ;)

Wednesday night is a bit of a blur... Paradox Twin and me are goi ng to help promote and book people for Spotlight, an awesome club space in Times Sq. Yes, I know, Times Sq. For someone who thinks Hiro is too far uptown it was like a roadtrip all the way up there. But the space is really really good, the DJ booth and area is amazing and there is so much room. If some of my favourite bands and DJs were performing there I would definitely make the tip up there.
We went there to check the place out and then ended up going to the usual places downtown, The Skinny, Darkroom (was sooo great to see Moreno and Jess and dance.. just like the old-school Wednesday nights apart from the fact that ParadoxSister wasn't there), Motorcity, Darkroom again, Skinny again... Someone gave me tequila instead of vodka and by the time I was drinking it I was too drunk to notice anyway, until I started feeling ANGRY (bad sign). Paradox twin and me did the good thing of leaving the bar and going somewhere else to practice our karate kicks.

The anger did not come from the tequila though. The anger came from seeing one of my friends so fucking upset and wanting to kick the person who made her that upset. If someone hurts your friend you stick up for them no matter what right? You don't just hide and say "I don't want to get involved". Selfish pieces of shit.

And you - the one who gives me withering looks when no one is looking: I specialise in those looks and yours are far from perfect. Seriously - don't mess with me. I don't give a shit about you or your drama and am actually happy to ignore you, so don't keep trying to make me want to kick you.

I feel better now :)