We have about 15 weeks left now, and strangely enough everything is feeling a little surreal. Strange because it is more than obvious that there is a little baby growing in my body! She’s growing very well too, at our last ultrasound she was weighing right on target at about 1.9 pounds. I have been thinking for ages that I was so much bigger with this one than I was with Luna, but actually that isn’t really true. I combined photos from 25 weeks with both girls and they are very similar, even in the way I carry. I’m therefore assuming that this little one will most likely be around the same height and weight as Luna was (7.13 lbs and 18 in).
That’s kind of where the similarities end really. This pregnancy has been a lot tougher on me than Luna’s was. I think it’s a combination of things, still breastfeeding Luna, not sleeping enough, and also due to some issues that are out of my control really. At our 20 week anatomy scan it was discovered that I have some kind of mass on the placenta, most likely a cyst or a blood clot. It isn’t actually causing any issues now, but I have been told to rest as much as possible, avoid extra activity, lifting etc. I’m being monitored by hospitals ultrasounds on a monthly basis and additional OB checks every two weeks. Best case scenario it disappears by itself, worst case it gets bigger and restricts the umbilical cord from doing its job. Right now it doesn’t seem to be doing anything, so it can stay like that too, as long as it doesn’t do anything to restrict the baby from growing. It is weird to have to stop and rethink every movement though. I really want to go through all of the storage closets and purge everything, but I have to ask Cesar to pull boxes out, which is something I am so used to doing myself!
Maybe all this resting will make for an easier recovery? At least this time I am giving myself more time to review all types of pain management techniques. I worry (unnecessarily) that the little one won’t turn around soon (she’s in the breech position – Luna was always head down so I never worried about that with her), because I would really, really love to have the birth experience I wanted with Luna and didn’t really have this time around. I feel a lot stronger and more confident in the whole process, and now have doctors who support my requests, but I always have a niggling worry in the back of my mind that it will all go haywire again! In the end all that matters is a healthy baby and mama, I know. I would just love to not go through the hell that was my recovery with Luna again. At least I have 15 more weeks (I hope!) to make a nice long playlist full of happiness-inducing music such as The Cure, Bauhaus, Varsovie, Thought Forms and Nick Cave…
The little kicks! Even though I have an anterior placenta again, I have been feeling good kicks for a few weeks now, low in my belly, which is normal as her head is up under my ribs right now. She’s more active in the afternoon and at night, and I can already see my belly move when she gets all excited! Luna loves to rub my belly to say hello to her little sister and likes to rest her head on the bump when she’s tired. This reminds me! I will most likely jinx myself here, and it’s not a continuous success, but Luna’s sleeping patterns have become a lot better in the past month. She wakes up a lot less and sleeps better, especially as she now has a huge king size bed to spread out in (which she does, very often). How does such a little monkey take up so much room?! Between her and Joey the cat they usually take up about ¾ of the bed! Add another child in the mix and Cesar and I should probably just resign ourselves to sleeping on the floor! We aren’t going to force Luna to sleep elsewhere for many reasons, but if baby number 2 doesn’t sleep in the crib either we will probably transform it into a toddler bed so Luna can start sleeping in her own bed. We aren’t worried, it’s kind of special, waking up with a foot in your face and little kisses from a well-slept little munchkin. We only have a little span of time when this will actually be possible, so we may make the most out of it. I’m not going to put any of us through the stress of crib training when I know that all it is going to lead to is lots of crying. Might as well save that stress for potty training, something that we are going to start working on pretty soon. No reason not to start early in my opinion, if it doesn’t work we will just wait a little longer.
Work has been going pretty well, I’m quite happy with the regular, ongoing projects that I am working on, and with the new projects that are popping up here and there. With Luna finally sleeping better in the evening I am able to get a few hours of undisturbed writing in, and am trying to keep weekends for my own personal projects. I think I may take a week off when the baby arrives, but no longer as I don’t want to lose my clients, and most of the work can be done during what will be many, many cluster feedings and sleepless nights. Hopefully at some point I can build it up so that when the kids are at school it will be a full time job. In the meantime it helps with all the extra monetary needs that come in week after week. And it helps me feel like I am doing something for myself too, which I think I always need.
Luna is coming to the point where she loves being around other kids now and I wonder if we should maybe put her in daycare for a few hours a week. It’s so expensive here, but I think we could wrangle a few hours, especially if it’s beneficial for her. She loves going to the park and always cries when we leave! I still don’t know anyone with kids in this neighbourhood, but we are going to go to baby and toddler times at the library from next week and hopefully make that into a more regular occurrence. Luna actually plays really, really well by herself, with her cat and her teddy bears and all of her toys, but she really does light up when she is near another child (especially her favourite friend Xavier). I love watching how she becomes more slightly more grown up every day… And it’s interesting to see the development of tantrums too. I have a feeling those won’t be disappearing for a while! I think a lot of it has to do with her not being able to communicate with words, so shouts, screams, whines and crying is the easiest way to get a point across. And she has a pretty good, loud scream, I can tell you that!
So, 15 more weeks of me growing bigger and 15 weeks left of Luna being an only child… Probably time to start sorting out baby clothing again, and getting some things set up for when this is all going to happen! I’m hoping Luna’s wonderful godmother and my best friend Meg will be here when I go into labour so she can watch Luna for us for the time that it takes to deliver the baby. If not our lovely Henna will be able to help, and I’m sure Ashton would love to too. We have a lot of wonderful friends. I hope that everything will go perfectly fine so that we don’t have to stay in hospital for more than 24 hours. I’m much better at home where I feel comfortable, even if this hospital is a LOT nicer than the one I gave birth to Luna in!
We should be getting our IDNYC in the mail soon, so I really want to make the most of the special offers before I start to waddle and get really uncomfortable in the heat. Luna would REALLY love the Bronx Zoo and there are a few museums I want to go to before the baby is born. And get some beach time in too! And I have just planned my first evening out in a LONG time (and probably the last in just as long). The Franco-American band GRAND BAIN is playing at Bowery Electric in June and I love them so I shall be going to see them! I don’t think I have actually been there since Meg and I used to DJ there on Thursday nights… 7 years ago? 8 years ago?! Memories.
I’m sure I shall provide another update within the next 5/6 weeks, when I am in the third trimester and starting to feel like a waddling hippo (do hippos actually waddle?!). We also have a doctor’s appointment coming up for Luna so we can see if she is finally putting on weight or not (fingers crossed she is because if not I am going to have to take her for some blood tests and I’m not too keen about going through that hell again so soon). In the meantime we shall enjoy the spring weather and the picnics in the park!