Less than a year ago we had just found our new apartment in Queens and were getting ready to move. I was in my third trimester and looking forward to make our new place into a home before Luna's arrival in April. And now this January Luna is 9 months old... And I'm 10 weeks pregnant with her little sister or brother! It was no real surprise to us as we have been talking about having another child for months. I know it may seem like I was only just pregnant with Luna and we are already having another child, but they will actually be 17 months apart, which to Cesar and I is a decent age gap. There are 23 months between my sister and I and we are very close. I would love for Luna and her sibling to experience that closeness too!
I had an amazing pregnancy with Luna, and I missed those little kicks, the hiccups, the good days and even the bad days. I loved reading up on what was new with the baby every week. I embraced the changes that my body went through and also loved thinking about the unknown that would be labour, delivery, post partum recovery and living with a newborn baby. I’m really excited to experience all of that again, this time with more knowledge and insight, and probably with some surprises along the way too. Some things are already very different, I have been suffering from debilitating “morning sickness” (which should actually be called “all day and night constant terrible nausea that makes it extremely difficult to function as a normal human being”) for the past 3 weeks now, and it’s a lot worse than it was when I was pregnant with Luna. There is no way that I would have been able to hide this like I did with Luna in the restaurant! Nothing helps alleviate it this time around, and as I don’t want to take any kind of medication I am just going to wait it out. It’s not too bad staying at home and around Flushing – I have quite a bit of work right now and Luna needs a lot of attention so our days are pretty full!
I am definitely calmer about certain things with this pregnancy but at the same time more stressed about others. We have a lot to think about (and a lot of time to plan), and I am adamant I will not have the same experience during labour and delivery as I did the first time. Even though I thought I was informed, it was nothing like I expected. I doubt everything will go according to plan this time around either, but at least I am taking a different approach, and feel that I can open my mouth and voice my concerns and wishes a lot better. We also have to have so many more tests this time around. Some of them because I am now 36, which means over 35, and therefore of “advanced maternal age”, which does make me feel slightly old! As long as the tests are non-invasive we are having them (an NT scan at 12 weeks and a blood test). I will not be doing any type of invasive testing as this is just not for us. We will also be having several fetal echocardiograms after 18 weeks, because Luna’s heart defects went undetected until she was 3 months old, so we now get more tests to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Not that that bothers me, the more often we get to see our little baby the better!
There are so many thoughts racing through my head, I look at Luna and my heart bursts with so much love and I wonder how it will be when I have another little blessing in my arms. I wonder how I am going to make sure that Luna gets the same amount of attention she gets now while at the same time I give the new baby the same amount of attention I gave Luna. I wonder if he or she will be a “bad” sleeper like Luna, or if he or she will fall asleep whenever he or she is tired. I wonder if I am going to be able to breastfeed both of them together as there is no way Luna is going to self-wean just yet (and I’m not interested in weaning her so early). So many thoughts and so many moments wondering about everything. I actually love those moments in the middle of the night, when I have just fed Luna and she has gone back to sleep, those moments before I go back to sleep when I imagine a hundred different scenarios. Wouldn’t it be funny if this baby looks just like me, but with Cesar’s skin tone and auburn hair? Will we have a boy or a girl? How fast will this year go by?
I’m so excited… And nervous and overwhelmed and ready for this, altogether. I can’t wait to document the continuation of this amazing journey that we started with Luna!