Susan E. Casey’s memoir, Rock On: Mining for Joy in the Deep River of Sibling Grief, is a personal story of losing a beloved sibling, intertwined with other stories of the same nature. In the first half of the book the author tells us her brother’s story, and how close they were. Rocky (Brian), was someone who was always looking for something more, traveling the world, searching for his own place to call home. I enjoyed reading about Rocky, and related a lot to his life and some of his choices (although not all). I also enjoyed reading about Susan’s relationship with him, and the ebbs and flows of sibling relationships. Rocky dies suddenly after a mysterious illness that may or may not have been related to other ailments he had been experiencing while living in Bali, leaving behind a young wife and child, parents, and siblings. In the second part of the book Susan weaves parts of her interviews with other people who have lost siblings with her own personal journey through grief. 

While reading this book I realized that I haven’t really read many stories (nonfiction) of sibling loss, and the grief that comes with losing a brother or a sister. I’ve had my fair share of loss in my life, a lot of it from an early age, but I am lucky to always have my two siblings close to me, not often physically because we have all lived thousands of miles away from each other for most of our adult lives, but always mentally. The idea of losing one of them makes my heart hurt. And my heart hurt reading this memoir: Rocky sounded like someone I would have been friends with, and so does Susan. It’s easy to imagine their relationship through Susan’s words, and to see how close they really were. 

I thoroughly appreciated how honest Susan is in her memoir, how she never skirts around the edges, and how she recognizes her own mistakes and losses in grief. I hope that one day she is able to mend bridges with her sister in law, because I’m sure her niece would love to hear stories about Rocky as a child and a teen. As someone who lost their father way too young I cherish the stories my aunt has told me over the years, and am grateful she was always there for me. That said, I also understand the need for boundaries, and they were definitely necessary here. Grief makes us do and say things that we would otherwise never do or say, but at some point you have to protect yourself.

I did feel like some of the stories from the interviews were a little rushed, and the comparison between a few of the stories and Susan’s grief were a little contrived. I think some of the comparisons of sibling grief weren’t really necessary. I did like reading the other stories, and seeing how other people dealt with their own journeys, and I would have actually liked to read more about them. In any case, this is a sad, but ultimately heartwarming memoir, where we touch on the depths of grief, but also learn about the importance of searching for joy whenever we can, even during our darkest moments.