When I think about all of the different horrific things that could possibly happen (have happened, are happening, will happen) in this world I feel terrified. I’m lucky enough to live in a place that is relatively safe, and where, if I want to, I can shut the news off and pretend nothing is happening. (I don’t do that because I like to know what is going on, but technically I could if I wanted to). As I was reading The Unexpected Spy I was acutely aware of how terrifying it must be to actually know what certain people are planning, but not being able to predict where and when. I’m sure most people who work in counterterrorism must be so sleep deprived… How could one really sleep when you have this direct knowledge constantly right in front of you?

I found this memoir quite interesting! I have a love/hate relationship with my personal interest in all things spy related, mainly because I don’t know if we can balance the terrible with the good when it comes to agencies such as the CIA. But reading this book was quite interesting, even though any of the really gritty content was actually redacted by the CIA, and left in the narrative as redacted. Tracy Walder writes in a conversational style that is easy to follow, and you can see why her job within the CIA was perfect for her, and why she did so well in it. There are some instances which are a little too “America!!!” for me, but I guess that is to be expected. (Phrases such as “we were trying to save the whole wide world” were a bit too much for me, but I suppose that is what she really believed, so we can’t fault her for that). Also the references to “Europeans” grated on me a little - we are not all the same! Europe is comprised of many different countries, languages, and cultures, and we are all quite different! I understand that the author couldn’t refer to actual countries, but it is a pet peeve of mine, to group “Europe” into one uniform country, in the same way as it really annoys me when people refer to the continent of Africa as one huge country.

I enjoyed reading on how the author became an operative in the CIA, and how she moved around within the agency, and then ended up working for the FBI. The work itself sounds like it was absolutely grueling, terrifying, and extremely taxing on both mental and physical health. I remember when I was living in Israel in the early 2000’s and someone told me that for every terrorist that made it through, Mossad caught 99 who didn’t, but we would never hear about those stories. I guess the same is correct elsewhere: unless the US needs a good propaganda boost we most likely don’t hear about half of the potential attacks. People such as Tracy spend their lives doing work that we will never hear about, and that itself is kind of fascinating.

All in all this is a pretty straightforward read, with some intriguing information on what it was like to be a CIA operative involved in counterterrorism after 9/11. I do wish that the redacted content had been removed… It didn’t bother me too much, but there are parts that are practically completely redacted, what was the point in even keeping it? There are also a few stereotypes that I think the author added to provide more insight into the location where she was at the time, but they annoyed me more than anything (it’s not hard to figure out which European country she is referring to with the “bland food” and the cabbies that automatically spoke to her in English). There are a few others that pop up through-out the memoir too. I think this would be a good read for people interested in learning more about counterterrorism and the CIA, but not if you are looking for a deep, hard fact-based read on the agency itself. There is also some good information on the transition from CIA to FBI which I thought was quite intriguing. 

What I found the most interesting is how Tracy was treated in both the CIA and the FBI (spoiler alert, the FBI appears to be a lot more misogynistic than the FBI), and how she is now using those experiences to empower and inspire young women to go for the top jobs they deserve. Her classes sound awesome!!

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance copy in return for an honest review.