I remember reading Chanel’s (anonymous) victim impact statement in the news back in 2016, and I still remember how powerful it was. I had been following the court case a little and was horrified when Turner received such a light sentence. Chanel’s statement struck me because it was so honest, so real, and because, like so many women, I related to every single word she had written. I’m so glad that she decided to write a memoir because when it comes to sexual assault a victim’s voice is so often silenced, or never even heard, and the perpetrator’s is too often amplified. Through her own experience Chanel has given all of us a voice.

Chanel writes to beautifully, and so bravely about her assault and the trial, the sentencing and aftermath, as well as all of the time between these moments. I think that the time between is the most important as it is time that is not before and not after: it’s suspended time. We read about a crime, an arrest, and then a trial and conviction (or not), but how often do we actually read about how those in betweens are survived by those who were the victim? How is it possible to continue with life normally, to “move on”, when there are no certainties to aim for? When trial dates are pushed back at the last minute again and again? When you gear yourself up to testify and then realize that the media have already created an image of you anyway, so what is the point? Everybody wants to turn the rapist into a human, but where is the support for the one person truly victimized by the crime?

While reading Know My Name I wrote down my own stories. I doubt they will ever see the light of day, BUT I felt a certain relief we are allowed to have a voice, however many years may have passed. This memoir is not easy to read (at all), but if you read one book this year it should be this one: Chanel is amazing, and her story shows us just how the system is rigged to demonize survivors and normalize rapists. Change happens when we fight against these systems, and I cannot thank this woman enough for standing up for all of us survivors of sexual abuse and assault.

Side note: Currently most of the books I read are either borrowed from the library or given to me in exchange for an honest review. I do still buy books of course, especially those written by authors I want to support. I also only want to support local, independent bookstores and we are lucky to have quite a few of those in Sacramento! I bought Know My Name at Capital Books on K Street, a lovely little family-run book shop. Most indie bookstores have websites where you order and ship to your home without having to leave your couch, so there really is no need to support Amazon over independent stores.